Mass Destruction



This week we've had a smashing time - literally.
 Here's the lounge with those lovely comfy sofas
all wrecked - you know you just couldn't get comfy
on them after about an hour!

and our lovely kitchen and cooker . . . . no more



Then out come the walls.  The only way is brute force -
high kicks, shouldering, sledge hammer, etc.  I nearly fell
through to the other side when this finally gave way.  They are
surprisingly firmly fixed with big staples from the outside.



Then we had to 'fold' the walls up so they'd fit
into the back of the car - look at that hammer arm go!

We've taken everything to the tip (several trips) and all that's left in the caravan is some kindling and some metal parts.  When we've taken it apart completely, we'll weigh in the metal and get some cash for it - not a lot I don't think, but anything's better than nothing.  When I asked the chap at the tip where to put the mirrors he showed me but said 'Don't worrry, I'll smash them for you' so I asked him if that was for health and safety or so I didn't have the seven years bad luck and he just shrugged and said he'd smashed so many he'd never get the time back!  Aaaahh!

This afternoon we started on the outside, taking away all the bits of wood, doors and goodness knows what we'd used to block in underneath the caravan to stop the cold wind getting under there.  We also had to move a pile of Walnut and Ash logs that various neighbours have given us which were stacked behind the caravan.  These are potentially for furniture-making so need to dry out slowly so we made a new pile and bent two sheets of wriggly tin in half to make a tent over them to keep the rain off - looks quite good in a rustic sort of way.

We've also moved one of the huge oak barrels down to the wall just outside the kitchen for a water butt - I'll show you a picture of that later when the downpipe and overfolw are finished.  We've had visitors for dinner - Wes and Karen - who are currently living in a caravan at the farm over the hill.  When they walked in they just sighed and said how nice it was to be in a real house - we knew just exactly how they felt.  We've also been over to Phil and Ann's for dinner - always nice.  We've been to a talk on woodcarving and had another little visitor in the lounge.  A baby wren this time who flew into the window and dazed itself.  Bob picked it up and we put it on the bench outside where it sat with us for a while before happily flying off.  So very cute and really nice to be able to look at it close up for a while.


Official approval!

Yep, we have official approval from Building Control and have been 'signed off'!  We arranged the visit for yesterday when our man should have been back from his holiday, but their office rang in the morning to say he was not back and so the chap we had last week would be coming.  I guess the good side of that is that a different inspector may find new things for us to do, but this one just had to go through last week's list and tick things off.  Somehow it didn't feel like quite the wonderous moment we were expecting and we had to think about it a bit to realise that he had actually paid us some compliments.

Bob had put up a temporary handrail because the blacksmith one would take too long.  The inspector wasn't really happy with this because it wasn't continuous and someone might fall down the stairs while they move their hand onto the next bit.  We said it was only temporary and we had the blacksmith coming later in the day to measure up for the proper handrail and after a lot of umming and ahhing he said he'd lower his standards for us and pass it, although he wouldn't usually, because he realises we have it in hand and will do a proper job.  It takes a bit of thinking about, but I think that is actually a compliment.  There were a couple of other things in the same vein, but generally he was happy enough to pass it.

The temporary door between the kitchen and the
hall - it looks really weird and makes the opening
look much narrower.

In the end he shook our hands and said we'd done a smashing job, well done - so, from a council official I think we should be pleased enough with that.  And so, we are free . . . . free from official intervention and inspection, wooh-hooh!  In the age-old tradition, we had a celebratory beer and curry last night of course.

While Bob was doing doors I did some pointing-in around the stairs and the doorframes - that's what the pink stuff is everywhere.  It should all look much better once it's limewashed and blends in to the rest of the wall.

So, the blacksmith came and we have a plan for the handrail.  It'll be quite small and plain and will start at the top with a leaf-shaped piece which screws onto the newel post on our bedroom side.  It will then curl round and down the newel post (at regulation height of 900mm from stairs) in an eliptical helix.  Then down the stairs, fixing onto the oak post with a small bracket which ends with the same leaf shape, and then it will curl round the wall at the end and finish with another leaf shape fixing.

All the baby birds are growing up rapidly.  The baby woodpeckers have mastered the peanut feeder and are quite proficient on it now as are the baby jays - all regular visitors.  The seed feeder on the kitchen window is like Paddy's Market with constant to-ing and fro-ing.  Yesterday a pair of goldfinches dominated it and between them just about emptied it.  I don't think they ate much, just emptied it!  The chickens were in heaven of course with all those sunflower seeds on the floor!

We have a chaffinch who definitely thinks he should be allowed in.  He has taken to sitting on the little ledge outside the utility room 'draft hole' window and tapping on the glass every morning at about 6am and then he sits there all morning.  He then comes round to the other side of the house and either sits on the window sill and taps or sits on the window bar half way up looking in!  I assume it's the same one.  A couple of days ago, we had a very smart male bullfinch doing the same thing.  The mother woodpecker has started taking a seed from the feeder on the window and she then clings onto the wall, lodges the seed in a crevice and taps away at it to get the husk off to feed to the babies . . . . . it's really quite noisy here with all these birds tapping away!

The other day Bob had a little helper in the form of a baby robin who came into the lounge to inspect the doorframe he was working on.  He then flew into the end bedroom and perched on our 'chandelier' while he had a good look around.  This picture is a little fuzzy, but believe me, baby robins are very sweet!  The same little chap was trying to learn how to use the peanut feeder this morning and quite persistent he was too - no-one's told him yet that robins don't usually use those sort of bird feeders!

Well, it's the first day of summer and we have the woodburner blazing away, it's been pouring down for ever and it's almost dark at 5.30pm!  I know we've now had the shortest night, but I didn't think we'd notice the evenings drawing in quite so dramatically!  It's a good job we did our log chopping and weed pulling yesterday!


I'll warn you now that we haven't actually done much to take pictures of in the last week or so - sorry.

So, what have we done - well, we've been up the stairs and down the stairs quite a lot which is still a novelty.  We finished the stench pipe - what a lovely picture that conjures up, eh?  We did the underground stuff around the extension ages ago, so we just needed to do the visible stuff up the wall.  There are rules and regs about all this - ending 3' above any windows which are within a certain distance, etc.  We did the visible bit with cast iron downpipe, so it looks OK really.  Bob has also made the door frame for the door between the 'lounge' and the end bedroom.  Our idea was to put that door on and keep that as a clean room, but get all our boxes of household stuff down from the top barn where they've been stored for the last few years.  There would then be space in the barn to put some of the stuff from the wriggly tin barn (garden equipment, cement mixer, etc), so that we can pull the tin barn down ready to build the workshop.

I actually started trashing the caravan on Sunday afternoon which was quite good fun.  I managed to take out all the shelf/dressing table/wardrobe-type stuff out.  It was actually quite good fun just smashing stuff up and not worrying if I accidentally poked a hole in the wall or ceiling.  It was also quite difficult because they must make caravan interiors before they put them in the van itself.  A lot of things were pinned or screwed from the outside which means the only way to get them out from the inside is a few good kicks.  I did get my head stuck in the wardrobe at one point which made me laugh!  I was leaning into the wardrobe pulling hard on one side of it which suddenly gave way towards me, the force pulling it past the sagging ceiling where it then stuck because it wouldn't go back past the sagging ceiling.  So there was I in a fit of giggles with my head in the wardrobe and the rest of me outside it.  Once I had composed myself, I did manage to push the side of the wardrobe out again to free myself.  I think we'll have to leave the interior walls in until we've cleared all the other fittings out and are really ready to collapse it because I think they are probably what gives the whole thing its rigidity.  I think Carol and Graham are quite keen to help with that bit - a bit of wanton destruction could be very theraputic and a perfect antidote to office life!

Having finished the stairs and the stench pipe, we thought we were probably ready to get the Building Inspector back for what we hoped would be the last time and so we arranged a visit for Tuesday.  Unfortunately our usual chap had thoughtlessly gone on holiday!  The chap who did come was very nice, but almost too chatty and helpful with all sorts of suggestions for what  he thought would be a good idea.  It was hard to work out what was actually mandatory.  He seemed to be thinking out loud, but then those thoughts ended up on the list of things we had to do before he could sign us off.  He thought we should probably plasterboard the lounge ceiling, put it on his list, but in a phone conversation the next day said he probably couldn't enforce it, but he thought we should really do it and so it stayed on the list.  He checked fire escapes and looked at the steps down from the outside door in the end bedroom - you know, the nice curved brick steps with little ferns growing in the corners which blends nicely into the stone retaining wall.  Perhaps a handrail would be a good idea and maybe paint the steps white . . . . . WHAT?!!!! . . . . . well, OK maybe just paint the front edge of the steps white, you know so that people can see them easily and can hold onto the handrail if it's icy.  Bob did have to point out that he had just thought the escape route from the upstairs bedroom (jumping out of a small upstairs window) was perfect, excellent even, so how could a wide doorway down steps be not alright?  He did concede, and crossed that off the list!

Anyway, the upshot is that we needed to plasterboard the lounge ceiling, put a door between the kitchen and the hall (which we were going to do, but much later because it needs careful designing), put the knobs on the fire escape door from the end bedroom (they were in their packet right next to the door, but he wants them on), handrail and balustrade on the stairs/landing and photocopy various certificates.  So, not really too bad.  We plasterboarded the lounge this morning - one half carefully because it will stay as a plasterboarded ceiling and one half not so carefully because that will probably come down to make the crog loft bit (mezzanine if you're from the south-east).  Too much hassle to explain that to the inspector because he'd probably insist we put up the railings and steps now!  We got the timber to make the door frame this afternoon and have a second-hand door we can put up temporarily between the kitchen and hall.  We have a local blacksmith coming on Tuesday to look at what's needed for the handrail and if he can't do it straight away, we'll put something temporary up and we have a piece of chipboard that will fit the gap on the landing.  Again, we want to design something nice for there and don't want to rush it.  So, hopefully we can get our usual Building Inspector to come out at the end of next week and see what he says.

The plumber came today - haven't seen him for ages!  When the weather was hot - you remember, those few days of summer we had before autumn set in - we obviously didn't light the woodburner and we actually switched the immersion heater off to see what the solar panels would do.  We were a little surprised to find that the radiator in the en-suite was still warm!   All winter we've assumed the radiator was still warm in the morning because the water from the wood burner was so hot.  It appears that the one-way valve which should stop hot water coming out of the tank back down the woodburner pipe wasn't working.  So, that has now been replaced and when (if) we get some more hot weather we can see if the problem is solved!

We had a visit from Jan (Bob's stepmum) on Tuesday afternoon which was nice.  The sun came out and we sat on the beer bench making the most of it and looking at the weeds in the garden and listening to the birds - very noisy!  There are two baby woodpeckers (thought there was only one for a while) and we see them quite often around the peanuts.  They have tried getting the nuts themselves which is quite funny because they sit on a branch and peck at the feeder which obviously swings away and back and they lose their balance.  They are getting better though.  The wrens fledged from their nest in the tin barn - oh, so cute.  They just seemed to be everywhere clinging onto whatever they hit first!  We bought a seed feeder and filled it with sunflower seeds and hung it right next to the kitchen window (well, Laura has all sorts of birds hanging onto her window feeder), but our birds took no notice of it.  So we took down one of the nut feeders and put the seed one in its place and they soon found it and emptied it.  We then moved it a bit closer to the house and hung it on a metal post.  Then every couple of days we moved it closer until it is now hanging right next to the window and the birds are quite happy to empty it!  Ha ha - if they want us to buy food for them, they can entertain us in return!

OK, I've relented and nipped round and taken some photos - not very interesting though!

The doorframe between the lounge and the end bedroom.
The concrete lintels behind will be covered with oak to look
like a big chunky oak lintel.

The lounge ceiling - it does look a bit weird in there and
I think it'll look much more interesting with only
half a ceiling!



and finally, the stench pipe.  All those cables will
eventually disappear or be hidden by the way.  This
is where the suggested white steps and handrail
should be!

Oh, nearly forgot to tell you, the ginger beer turned out really well.  It makes a really nice, refreshing drink.  The first lot was not overly gingery, so with the second lot I stirred the mixture each time I added the ginger and sugar to see if that makes a difference.  that is actually ready to try now, so we'll soon see.  We did have one explosion the other night - not sure if it was the fizz in the bottle or whether the bottle fell over because of the vibration of the washing machine underneath!

Tah, daaahh!

Tah, daahh . . . . we now officially have stairs and they're screwed and glued, so Bob can't sneak them out again when I'm not looking!  It does seem strange I must say.  Bob keeps having a shock when he thinks I'm upstairs and I silently appear at the kitchen door instead of my entrance into the middle of the kitchen being heralded by the clanking of the ladder. 

The official ladder removing ceremony!

Glue, screws and clamps . . . . it all went very smoothly
and I didn't have to do too much fevered brow mopping.

Having the stairs in has changed all sorts of things we hadn't really thought of.  We are now using the space under the stairs.  We cobbled together some shelves using shelves out of the caravan cupboards and bricks so the groceries that used to be stored in the broken freezer in the utility room are now under the stairs.  That has meant that the working freezer is now in the utility room.  Oh, all these luxuries we now have.  For years we have had to get keys, put on shoes and paddle through rain and mud to go to the freezer (it was in the top barn for a couple of years and then in the lean-to more recently).  That meant that we generally didn't bother to add a few frozen peas to the carrots with tea or to have ice in cold drinks . . . now we can just step across the hall and there they all are!  We used to hook the hand towel through the handle of the broken freezer, but we can't do that with the new one, so we've had to dig a hook board out of storage for the towel.  We can also now rearrange the hall bookshelf, grandfather clock and bench and hopefully get the clock working again.  It objected to being stored half in Bob's dad's shed and half in our barn and then being moved around and so has refused to work.  When it is in its permanent place it'll be worth spending some time getting it absolutely level and tweaking it all and then hopefully it'll be happy again.

Without the ladder in the kitchen, there is also more room to pull the table out a bit which means that you can sit on both sides of it which is much better when people pop round for a cuppa.  One slight annoyance is that the stereo used to sit on the mantle piece (where the drill is in the picture above) with one of the speakers stood on top.  Course, there's now a stair in the way which is obviously fine.  It is just annoying because the speaker only doesn't fit by about 1.5mm!!!!  I think we may slice off a bit of the bottom of the speaker box, it's just so close!

Bob did the long walk on Saturday morning.  There is a 10 mile walk which we did last year, but you can add an extra 6 mile loop onto the middle of it and go up another hill.  It's actually the hill they used in the Hugh Grant film 'The Man Who Went up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain' and has fantastic views all round.  Going up he could barely see more that 20ft in front because of the mizzly rain, so he'll just have to take their word for it!  As part of the Hill Walk Weekend, a beacon is lit on Bank Holiday Monday up a hill behind the village.  I think they do this every year, but this year of course it tied in with all the Jubilee beacons.  We went along and really enjoyed it and bumped into lots of familiar faces.  It was all so low-tech, no lights, no speakers, big screens or announcements and little obvious health and safety interference just relying on people's good sense and looking out for each other which is as it should be.  At the bottom of the hill adults could buy a flaming torch and you could see a trail of torches wending their way up the hill in the twilight and then the beacon (just a massive bonfire) was lit.  As it got darker we could see other beacons all around the horizon (interestingly, there were far fewer on the Welsh side than the English!).  Everyone was trying to work out where the other beacons were.  You could obviously tell the direction, but not the distance.  We could see the oil refinery flame at Ellesmere Port, so we knew some of the beacons were a good distance away, possibly even as far as Manchester.  Some places had fireworks and one sent up a couple of chinese lanterns which lasted for ages and drifted over our hill before finally going out. 

On Tuesday we had a street party . . . well, we called it an End of the Lane Party/Stair Warming Party and we invited all the people we know who live at the end of a lane . . . so, that's Phil and Anne!  We put up our bunting in the form of the union jack-style piece of felt we made at Smallholders a year or so ago and had a good meal and a couple of bottles of wine.  We could have had a proper street party, but when we thought about it we realised that most of the neighbours are actually fueding with one another!  We have so far managed not to fall out with anyone, but the people across the lane (the alpaca people)have fallen out with everyone else at some point or another the latest being arguments about their teenage lodger riding his very noisy motorbike around the bridleway and round and round the field on a regular basis.  This has resulted in Barb and Darren calling the police and eventually getting a Section 59 injunction to stop him (or he gets his bike crushed).   Barb and Darren are the couple who had trouble getting the static caravan down the lane and destroyed another neighbours fence (resulting in major arguments and police involvement) and then accidentally set fire to the caravan.  Bill and Maggie had a major falling out with the alpaca people some time ago and that also involved the police.  Of, course, Bill and Maggie have also split up and Maggie moved out, but is now moving back in which means Bill has moved out for good amid screaming matches.  Other neighbours have fueds over road access, planning permission and so on.  So, all in all, a street party might turn out to be a little more lively than we'd like (although we could save time and invite the police too because they already know most people!).  So, I think Phil and Ann are the only neighbours we know not at loggerheads with anyone!

Anyway enough of that!  The baby woodpecker has left the nest and can be seen out and about.  Yesterday it was clinging onto the little birch tree in the garden.  The mother was getting peanuts from the feeder further up the tree then breaking them up in a crack in the tree before feeding them to the baby.  This picture was taken through the kitchen window which really did need cleaning and was also wet from the rain, so it's not brilliant, but gives you an idea.  I have now cleaned the window by the way!

We had stairs!

Yes, just for a liuttle while we had stairs! Now, how flippin' exciting is that?  We did a dry run without gluing or screwing in place so we know the sequence when we do it for real and there is a time contraint because of glue, etc.  There are also some bits of brackets, wedges and so on to do underneath.  But, for about half an hour we had stairs you could (carefully) walk up and we could see for the first time what it was all going to look like.  Bob did tell me that he'd actually already put it all in place once and walked up them while I was at work on Thursday.  See, it's just like sending your baby to nursery when you go back to work and you miss the milestones like first teeth, steps, etc!  Anyway, it all looks lovely and it makes the landing space upstairs look much bigger.  It does make the kitchen a bit darker because it blocks the light from the rooflight on the landing.  I guess that's the price you have to pay for living in an old cottage with tiny windows.  Good job we changed the bulbs in the kitchen lights from 50w halogens to very low wattage LEDs . . . . . there are quite a lot of them and they are on for a lot of the time, so would have been expensive to run.

And here's what they look like from the kitchen.  There is another little piece to go at the top, but that can be slotted in after.  From the corner of the fireplace to the oak post will be a door to the junk cupboard, but you will see the underneath of the rest of the stairs.

Oh darn - time to go to work again!  Bob's off doing the annual hill walk by himself, in the rain.  It's actually only drizzling and there'll be loads of people doing the walk so he won't be alone, he's bound to bump into someone he knows.

As promised, here's the picture Ben took last week of the Peregrine - pretty good eh?